


Eddie Kaspbrak’s Bittersweet Memories - Reddie

by sweetpeacheddie



Category: IT (2017), IT - Stephen King
Genre: Fluff, Heartbreak, M/M, Reddie, cheerleader!eddie, football captian!richie, football!richie, half inspired by a prompt I received and half inspired by paper towns
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-07
Updated: 2019-03-11
Packaged: 2019-07-08 00:27:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 11,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15919275
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweetpeacheddie/pseuds/sweetpeacheddie
Summary: Eddie and Richie: the most unpredictable couple in all of Derry High. No one ever expected the cheerleader to fall in love with the captain of the football team, but somehow they made it look so easy. But suddenly they’ve graduated and Richie has mysteriously moved to California without a single word spoken to any of the losers. Through the heartbreak and pain, Eddie comes to realise that maybe he’d be better off without Richie. Until everyone has left for college and it’s just him and Beverly left in Derry, and slowly they begin finding clues that trace them back to Richie and why he left. And before he knows it, Eddie makes it his mission to track down Richie in California with Bev by his side.Fic playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/leahkins97/playlist/3TNoKPsx6ZyFtRObpUj63d?si=CEZEpkbcTmabQhnvcZyRBw





	1. Chapter One

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone has any requests they want me to do, you can drop them in my tumblr ask http://sweetpeacheddie.tumblr.com/ask

For some, the relationship that Eddie Kaspbrak and Richie Tozier shared was weird and abnormal. Sometimes even they wondered how they worked so well together, but they just did. Neither boy was apart of that stereotypical “popular” group of kids, yet everyone still knew them, or at least knew of them. 

Richie was known by being the kid everyone thought was least likely to end up being the captain of the football team, and yet he still was. With his shaggy and unruly hair, baggy mismatched clothing, and (newly updated) circular, black rimmed glasses, everyone was sure that Richie Tozier would end up being the kid that skipped every class and eventually dropped out to work at McDonald’s. Yet he proved them all wrong as he showed up for class every single day without fail, was getting near perfect scores on everything he handed in, and had been captain of the football team for the last year and a half. 

Eddie was known for having everything neat and tidy and organised: his hair, his clothes, his homework, his room, his cheerleading uniform, everything down to his locker and pencil case. Eddie’s grades were almost as perfect as Richie’s, though he did need a lot of his boyfriend’s help when it came to quite a number of subjects. Not one thing was ever out of place when it came to Eddie. Except for Richie, that is. And that was the one thing that everyone was shocked to learn about Eddie: that despite how clean and orderly he was, Richie was the one that Eddie wanted. 

Despite no one understanding how or why the perfectly spick and span Eddie was with the rough and tough Richie, everyone still saw the spark that was between them. Holly Mels noticed it when she saw the two at Richie’s locker, which was right by her own. They would giggle and peck one another on the cheeks and offer to hold each others books, then tenderly interlock their hands and steal a kiss or two as they walked to class together. Dean Smith could see it during his football practices with Richie, when Eddie would be cheering on his boyfriend by either holding up an “I love the football captain!” sign, or just by standing and waiting on the other side of the fence to get a mid practise kiss. Either way would always leave Richie blushing and losing focus. For Tanya Marian it was during the football games when her and all the other cheerleaders would be pumping up the crowd. She would look around the field and spot Richie - who should have been encouraging his teammates and getting into the football spirit - staring intently at Eddie as Eddie waved his pom poms around and was tossed around in the air by the other cheerleaders. In fact, pretty much every person in the school in one way or another had seen and felt the love that the two boys shared - it was too hard to miss as they wandered the halls holding hands, or feeding each other food at lunch. 

Halfway through their senior year was a day quite special, one that both Richie and Eddie would never forget - their one year anniversary. Whilst they agreed not to make a huge fuss over it or get each other anything, both boys woke up with some kind of new energy radiating around them. For Eddie, the moment he opened his eyes he was smiling widely. He’d been worried since him and Richie had gotten together that something would happen and they would never reach this day, so as he began his daily school routine, the smile never left his face. At breakfast he had to pretend as if it was any old day, of course so his lack-of-progression mother didn’t suspect anything was different. With how happy he was, Eddie was on the edge of his seat about to tell his mother about this wonderful day, but he knew he couldn’t, and it broke his heart. For Richie, it didn’t hit him until he was getting into his car to pick up Eddie for school. His absent-minded self opened the car door expecting a normal day, when he suddenly gasped and his chest filled with warmth at the remembrance of this important day. He felt like a fool for forgetting such a big milestone, but he brushed off his forgetful head and continued on with his morning with a spring in his step. When Eddie opened the door to the passenger side and hopped in next to his boyfriend, they both shared a soft smile and Richie quickly pulled away from the front of the Kaspbrak residence, afraid that he would be too filled up with emotion and kiss his boyfriend whilst Eddie’s mother was watching. 

Their ride to school was almost silent - the only thing filling the air being the sound of their heartbeats and the aura of pure happiness and bliss. When Richie parked the car at the school, he shut off the engine and the two of them sat still, simply looking at each other with wide smiles. 

“I can’t believe I’ve put up with your dumb ass for a whole year,” Eddie said with a chuckle. 

“Oh, shut up. You love me,” Richie said with a laugh as he reached out and pushed Eddie’s shoulder gently. Eddie grabbed ahold of Richie’s scruffed up hand quickly and pulled him forwards, taking his boyfriends face in his hands. He pressed a gentle kiss to Richie’s soft lips, followed by one on the tip of his nose causing Richie to erupt into a fit of giggles. 

“More than anything,” Eddie said softly with a wide smile upon his mouth. 

With Eddie’s hands still cupping Richie’s face, Richie whispered, “you’re going to make me vomit, Kaspbrak.”

Neither boy had any class time together until after lunch - football and cheerleading practise. Usually every Friday when the two practise times were on, the footballers would practise on the back oval, and the cheerleaders would practise in the gym. After a few runs of their routine the cheerleaders would move to the bleachers and watch the football team until the end of the day, meaning Eddie had roughly an hour every single Friday afternoon to watch Richie Tozier run around the football oval in short shorts and a loose fitting t shirt - a sight he was certain he would never get tired of. 

Whilst the other cheerleaders sat in the bleachers, talking and eating snacks, Eddie opted to sit in the grass by himself on the football oval with his back leant up against the fence. He always found that he had a better view of Richie from there, and it also meant that he could give Richie a few proper kisses in between practise, rather than just a wave from the bleachers or a peck over the fence. 

After the last bell of the day rang, Eddie and Richie walked to the back car park. However they didn’t leave the school just yet, and instead were leant up against the cool metal on the passenger side of the car. Richie had opened the door politely for his boyfriend but Eddie had yet to make a move into the vehicle. They looked into one another’s eyes for a few moments, sweet and gentle smiles on their lips and the knowledge of having been together for 1 year swirling around their minds. 

They were the happiest they had ever been. They didn’t even have to speak when they were together - just being in each other’s presence was enough to fill both boys’ hearts with so much love that one day they were certain they would simply explode. 

A few months later and it was finally the day of their graduation - a day that Richie and Eddie and all of the losers were overwhelmingly excited for. They could feel the freedom and the emancipation inching closer and closer with every single second that passed by on that warm day in May. After the ceremony, the losers all went down to the quarry. They threw all of the senior year books into rubbish bins and pushed one another into the freezing cold water, sounds of laughter and happiness and love filling up the air around them all. 

After a couple hours of swimming, Eddie sat on his towel in the grass next to Richie as they watched the rest of their group swim and play in the water, celebrating their diplomas and freedom. Eddie could feel some kind of bad energy from Richie, though he couldn’t understand why. He knew how long Richie had been waiting for this day, so as he looked at Richie laying in the grass from the corner of his eye, his mind filled with confusion as to why the grimace had hardly left the Trashmouth’s face. 

Eddie let out a sigh, finally fed up with looking at the scowl that Richie had worn all day. “What’s up with you, Rich?” He asked as he leant over and gently pushed Richie’s shoulder to get his attention. 

Richie turned to him and quickly changed his expression to a small smile as if he were perfectly fine. “What do you mean?” He said as he sat up, crossed his long legs and leant back on his hands. 

“You’ve been acting weird all day. Like… like you’re grumpy about something.” 

Richie chuckled softly and scooched over next to Eddie. He wrapped his arms around his boyfriends smaller frame and kissed his cheek multiple times. “I’m fine, Ed’s. Really!”

Eddie let out another sigh. “You’ve been acting funny all day. If something is going on, you can talk to me, Richie.” 

“Eddie, I’m okay.” Richie said seriously as he looked into his boyfriend's eyes. “I guess I’m just sad that school is over, you know?”

“You, Richie Tozier, are sad about school ending?” Eddie said skeptically with a light chuckle. “I don’t believe it for a second.”

“No really!” Richie said with his eyebrows raised. He placed another peck on Eddie’s cheek and rested his head on his shoulder, looking out to the water at the rest of the losers. “I’m going to miss this, Ed’s. Coming here after school in the summer, hanging out on the picnic tables at lunch, making out with you in the boys locker room.” They both laughed at that last one, and that was enough to make Eddie understand where Richie was coming from. Because Eddie was going to miss those things too, and the thought of saying goodbye to their adolescence and starting the new chapter of their lives as adults made him feel like crumbling from the inside out. So he simply let the conversation go and soaked in the feeling of Richie’s soft curls tickling his neck, and the sounds of the birds as they laughed at their friends splashing each other with water. It was the most perfect afternoon any of them could have wished for. 

The next day Eddie drove over to Richie’s house, excited and eager to spend their first day of complete and utter freedom from the chains of high school together. As he pulled up onto the curb, he glanced down the driveway and took note that Richie’s car was not parked in its usual spot. Confusion was painted across Eddie’s face. He couldn’t understand why Richie would leave his house before 8am on a Saturday morning when usually his boyfriend would still be fast asleep in bed. 

Eddie walked straight inside - as he always did when going to the Tozier household - to find Maggie and Wentworth sitting on the couch, cups of coffee were in their hands and the morning news was playing softly on the tv. However it wasn’t Richie’s parents that Eddie was there to see, so he continued walking through the house and down the hall into Richie’s bedroom.

Eddie wasn’t sure what he was expecting to see, but it certainly wasn’t an empty room. His mouth hung wide open as he stood in the doorway, looking at what was in front of him. The covers had been removed from the bed, all the books and video games were taken off the shelves, posters had been pulled off the walls - everything that made up Richie Tozier’s bedroom was no longer in its usual place, and Eddie felt a shiver run down his spine. It felt cold and empty, precisely how Eddie was feeling at this point in time. He hurried back down the hall and into the living room, standing on the other side of the coffee table in front of Richie's parents. His heart was racing a million miles an hour. 

“Where is he? Where did he go? Is he okay?” Eddie said in a rushed panic. He was so incredibly confused. He needed answers. 

“I don’t understand,” Maggie said as she placed her coffee onto the table. She looked over to her husband and they shared and questioning look followed by a shrug. She turned back to Eddie and replied, “we thought he would have told you ages ago.”

“Told me what?” Eddie said. His stomach was turning with the anticipation. 

“He got a scholarship to a school in California. He left early this morning.” Maggie finished. 

Eddie felt like he was going to vomit. His head was spinning and he was sure he was going to faint. “Hang on, wait a second,” he said, holding his stomach tightly. “He moved to California? And he didn’t even let me know?”

“We are so sorry, Eddie,” Wentworth said calmly. “He’d told us that he called you and let you know as soon as he got the letter from the school.”

“No, no, Richie never said anything about a- about a school in California. Why would he not tell me?”

Maggie stood from the couch and began walking over to Eddie in an attempt to comfort him, however Eddie’s breakfast had other thoughts as he quickly ran down the hallway for the second time, though this time it was to rush to the bathroom. He clutched his stomach as he threw up whatever was in there into the toilet, then let out a loud sigh and wiped his mouth in disgust. He sat on the floor for a few moments to let his stomach ease, then placed his hand on the sink and slowly hauled himself up. His head was still spinning as he avoided looking in the mirror and splashed his face with water, then walked back into Richie’s room. Eddie made sure to shut the door loudly to let the Tozier’s know he wanted to be alone, then plonked himself down onto the empty bed and looked around the room with tears filling his eyes. Over the last year and a half this room had been filled with so much love and so much contentment and so much RichieAndEddie. It was their safe space, where the two of them could be whoever they wanted to be and do whatever they wanted to do. Eddie simply couldn’t process it, couldn’t understand why Richie would just leave without telling anyone, especially his boyfriend of all people. 

Once his head had stopped spinning, Eddie stood up from the bed and began walking around the room. He brushed his fingers along the top of the dusty drawers and bookshelf, breathing in the scent of cigarettes and the nice cologne that Eddie had bought Richie for his birthday last year. He could remember giving it to Richie and watching his face light up as he smelt the perfume and said that he couldn’t wait to smell like a “manly man” every day. It was a smell that Eddie wouldn’t ever get sick of, so he inhaled as much of it as he possibly could as a few tears began to fall. Before he could get too worked up he wiped his cheeks and didn’t bother saying goodbye to Maggie and Wentworth as he dashed down the hall and out the front door. 

Before starting up his car, Eddie pulled his phone from his back pocket and dialled the only number he had ever memorised. Though instead of hearing the sound of the phone ringing and Richie’s voice coming through the speaker, all Eddie could hear was a robotic woman’s voice saying, “the number you are trying to call has been disconnected”, and then nothing but the buzz of the dial tone. It was endless and droning on, but all Eddie was concentrating on was that computerised voice saying that the number had been disconnected. It was playing over and over again, clouding his mind. Richie had disconnected his number. How on earth was Eddie supposed to find out why his boyfriend left him and this town and their friends if he couldn’t even call him?

Eddie quickly clicked the home button on his phone and hastily went into the Facebook Messenger app. Richie’s name was at the very top of the screen, though when Eddie entered the messages a notice popped up on the screen stating that the account had been deleted and could no longer receive messages. Eddie took a deep breath in and held it as he resisted the urge to cry once again. He shook his head from side to side and shut his eyes tightly before he could begin hyperventilating, then counted to 5 and slowly let the air out. Richie made Eddie feel so brave and so on top of the world that just after they started dating, Eddie had thrown his inhaler in the bin and hadn’t used it since. Though it was times like this when he truly needed it and missed it more than anything. He continued his deep breathing as he checked every single other social media that he knew Richie had - Instagram, Snapchat and Tumblr - and every single one of them had been deactivated. 

Eddie stared at his phone as he held his breath in fear of bursting into tears right in front of the Tozier’s house, so he simply locked his phone and threw it into the passenger seat next to him before starting up the old car and setting off down the street. He had no words to explain how he was feeling - there were too many emotions swelling up inside of his chest that he didn’t know if he wanted to sob or punch something or hug someone. All he wanted was Richie to comfort him. But Richie was gone without a trace, and Eddie just couldn’t understand why. Why would he do this? Why would he leave without saying anything? Did the year and a half of their relationship not mean anything to him?

There was only one place - minus Richie’s arms - that Eddie wanted to be right now, and that was the quarry. He was craving to be in the place that was filled with so many beautiful memories between Eddie and all of his friends. A place that had comforted and cared for Eddie almost as much as Richie’s bedroom had. He drove silently down the empty Derry roads, his mind and heart racing at a hundred miles a minute with so many thoughts that he just couldn’t even begin to process. He could feel his heart breaking more and more with every single second and every single image that passed by inside his head. 

Eddie’s car was the only one the was on the grass by the quarry as he pulled up his handbrake and exited the vehicle, leaving his phone on the front seat. He wandered down through the trees and to the clearing that was oh so familiar, taking in the sights of the calming trees and feeling the cool breeze as it encapsulated his small frame. He breathed in the fresh air and watched the clouds move, allowing the sun to shine its rays down on the water and make it glisten. 

As he put his hands in the pocket of his black shorts and gently kicked around some rocks, he heard someone shuffling close by. “Eddie?” He heard a familiar girls voice say amidst the soft wind. Eddie looked up from his pale blue converses and the rocks beneath them to see Beverly Marsh walking towards him with a bright and wide smile upon her freckled face. She motioned for Eddie to sit down and he joined her among the uncomfortable stones whilst she wrapped her arm around his shoulders, a ring-clad hand gripping the side of his arm. Eddie wondered why Beverly was down here all by herself so early in the morning, instead of sleeping in or being with the rest of the losers, but right now he was just happy to have some familiar company. 

“How’s the first day of freedom treating you? I thought you and the Trashmouth would be out and about painting the town red by now!” She said happily, obviously oblivious to the entire situation. 

“He didn’t tell you either?” Eddie asked sadly with his eyebrows raised. 

“Tell me… What?” Beverly asked slowly, confusion and concern laced within her tone. 

As the tears began welling up in his eyes once more, Eddie could feel the anger rising up inside of him at the thought of what his boyfriend had done to him. What he’d done to their friends. He shoved Beverly’s arm off his shoulders and stood up abruptly, pacing back and forth behind where they were sitting. 

“He’s fucking gone, Bev!” Eddie exclaimed loudly as he threw his arms up in the air. “He left me and he left all of us and did he even bother to tell us? No! No, he didn’t!”

“What are you talking about?” Bev asked with a nervous chuckle. 

“Why are you laughing? Do you think it’s funny that my boyfriend has gone halfway across the country without telling me he was even planning on leaving?” 

“No, no! Eddie, I would never think that!” Beverly quickly pushed herself up from the sharp rocks and placed her hands on Eddie’s shoulders in an attempt to calm him down. “I’m just confused, Eds. I don’t understand what’s going on.” She spoke softly, looking into Eddie’s eyes as she did so and gently brushing one of her hands across his cheek to rid them of his tears. 

Eddie closed his eyes and shook his head frantically, trying to make the tears go away. But he couldn’t stop them as they flowed freely down his cheeks, soaking through the fabric covering Beverly’s shoulder as she grabbed Eddie and pulled him close to her in a tight embrace. 

“It’s okay, Eddie. I’ve got you,” she whispered. “Let me take you back home and we can talk this out, okay?”

Eddie knew his mum would be out at work for the rest of the day, so he tenderly nodded his head and Beverly helped guide him to his car, putting Eddie in the passenger seat and herself behind the wheel. 

Eddie’s sobs and hiccups were the only sounds in the car as they drove. That was until Beverly decided to pipe up for just a moment before they went back to the almost silence. “It’s going to be alright, Eddie.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If anyone has any requests they want me to do, you can drop them in my tumblr ask http://sweetpeacheddie.tumblr.com/ask

Eddie awoke the next day with dry tears stuck to his face and a shiver down his spine as he remembered the previous day's events. As he had yet to open his eyes, he blindly felt around his bed for Beverly and let out a breath he had been keeping in when the space beside him was free from the red-haired girl. God knows what his mother would do to him if she found any girl, let alone Beverly Marsh, in his bed. 

The blinds on Eddie’s window were pushed to the side as a result of Bev using it as her escape route, so as he reluctantly opened his eyes the sun poured directly into them, making him wince and shut them tightly once again. He wasn’t ready to face the day. He wasn’t ready to accept the fact that Richie was gone. So with a loud groan, Eddie rolled over and shoved his face further into his pillow. A crunching sound startled him slightly, however, and he lifted his cheek up to reveal a crumpled piece of paper that was sat on top of his pillow. He sat up and unfolded the paper in his hands, blinking gently as his eyes attempted to adjust to the light. 

“Eddie, in case you were wondering why it was breezy in your room, I woke up really early and went out through the window so that your Mum wouldn’t see me. If you wanted to hang out later, just send me a text and we can meet wherever you want. Lots of love, Beverly Marsh x”

Eddie chucked the paper to the end of his bed and flopped back down hard onto his mattress, another groan escaping his lips. He grabbed his phone from beside his pillow and clicked the home button to check the time, which read 9:46. He knew that he wouldn’t have any messages from Richie, but still, there was a piece of his heart that sunk when he saw that the only message he had received was from his mother, letting him know she would be back late again. 

Eddie figured his best option at that current point in time would be to simply stay in bed all day and hide from the world. However, his plans quickly ceased the second he placed his phone back down onto the mattress as it began vibrating. It was the custom vibration that Richie had set on Eddie’s phone for when he received calls - basically just a mixture of short and long vibrations that Richie knew would surely irritate Eddie to no end. It made him want to cry so badly, but Eddie let out a sigh and with his eyes still closed, he swiped at the bottom of the screen until the vibration stopped and placed the device to his ear. 

“Hello?” He mumbled in a grumpy tone. 

“Morning, Sunshine!” Bill greeted, and just a touch too loudly for Eddie’s ears just after he had woken up. “Hurry up and get ready, we are all meeting at the quarry in 20 minutes.”

“I’m sorry, Bill. I’m not going anywhere today. Mum uh… - Mum wants me to clean the house.” Eddie fibbed. He felt bad lying to one of his best friends, but he had to. At least for now, anyway. “You know how she gets. She’ll freak if she comes home and there’s even one thing out of place.” 

“Oh,” Bill said gently. “Well, that’s okay. No stress.” Eddie could hear the soft smile and was grateful that Bill didn’t push the topic any further, meaning he could spend the rest of his day in bed and isolated away from the rest of society. 

Eddie realised after a moment that neither of them had spoken for a minute or so, so Eddie said, “I’ll see you guys later, okay?”

“Yeah, of course!” Bill chirped in reply. Eddie hit the hang up button without saying another word, then put his phone on do not disturb, tossed it carelessly onto the bedside table and proceeded to fall back into a restless sleep, this time without Bev by his side. 

-

“Eddie Bear! Where are you?!” Were the words that startled Eddie awake in bed later that day. He rolled over onto his side to face his door, waiting for his mother to barge through at any second and furiously rubbed his tired eyes with his fists. 

“I’m in here, Mum,” he called out, his voice thick and heavy with sleep. 

“Oh, Eddie!” Sonia said as she opened the door. “I was so worried! I was calling your phone and you weren’t answering, I thought something had happened to you!” 

Eddie pulled back his doona slightly and sat up, still rubbing his hands over his exhausted face as he tried to wake up. “I’m fine, I was just taking a nap.” He felt guilty for lying to his own mother, but what else was he supposed to tell her? That his boyfriend of a year and a half left the state without telling anyone? That his heart and soul were crushed and in pieces? That all he wanted to do was sleep, just so that he didn’t have to face the reality of his life? He would rather do anything else in the entire world then tell his Mum those things. So no matter the amount of pain that he was going through from what Richie had done, he knew deep down that telling Sonia Kaspbrak - the biggest homophobe in all of Derry - all of these things, would be 20 times more painful. 

“Well, something is wrong. Are you sick?” Sonia was always able to read Eddie like a book, and he hated it more than anything. But over the years Eddie had gotten particularly skilled at coming up with realistic lies on the spot - ones that weren’t so basic that they were unbelievable, but also not so complicated that it would leave him in the doctors. And he knew that even if it was just a simple cold, his Mum would be frantically rushing Eddie into the car to get to the nurses' station. 

“No, Mum, don’t worry. I’m not sick. I was just…” Eddie blanked for a moment. His head felt so fuzzy, and for the first time ever he was struggling to come up with a reasonable excuse that his mother would actually believe. So he went with the first thing that popped into his head. It was an excuse he had most definitely used before, but he was hoping she wouldn’t question it. “I just didn’t sleep too well last night, I guess,” he said with a shrug of his shoulders, trying to play it off as not a big deal. He reached over and grabbed the corner of the doona, just to have something to fiddle with as he waited for his mother to leave the room. His eyes were trying so hard not to roll to the back of his head as sleep attempted to take over his body. 

“Hmmm,” Sonia pondered. She watched Eddie carefully as if trying to decide whether or not he was lying to her. But then again, Mrs Kaspbrak would never raise her son to lie to her. So she simply nodded her head and left the room as she shouted, “don’t fall back asleep, Eddie Bear! I don’t need my sweet baby boy ruining his perfect sleeping schedule!” 

Eddie pulled a grim face and stuck his tongue out at the door his mother had just walked out of, then leant over and grabbed his phone before flopping back down onto his mattress. He clicked the home screen hoping to find out what the time was, and instead was taken aback by the number of text messages he had missed throughout the day. He saw the 6 messages and 3 phone calls he had missed from his mother, but as he scrolled down he noticed many messages all from his friends. 

From: Bill - Bev just told us all what happened. Do you want us to come around?  
From: Ben - I don’t have any words, Eddie. I’m so sorry  
From: Stanley - I'm kicking Richie’s ass all the way to Egypt, I swear to god  
From: Mike - We’ll be over tomorrow with ice cream and some movies. Are there any other snacks you want?  
From: Beverly - I hope you’re not mad at me for telling them, Eddie. We will all come over tomorrow around 8 in the morning for a movie day. 

Eddie couldn’t deny that he was a little grumpy at Bev for telling them all what’d happened. But he was too tired to really care all that much. So despite the fact that it was only 7 pm, and despite the fact he had slept for the entire day, all Eddie wanted to do was drift off into an easy and dreamless sleep, but he knew that wasn’t possible. He didn’t bother replying to any of his friends, and instead, he put his phone back on the bedside table and let out a small sigh as he laid back down on his pillow. 

As soon as Eddie’s head hit the pillow, a strangled sob escaped his lips. And all too quickly he couldn’t hold back the tears as his emotions became too overwhelming. It was Richie and the fact that he left. It was how alone he felt, even though he was surrounded by his friends. It was the caring messages they had sent him and the fact that he didn’t care that they cared. It was that every part of him was in so much pain that all he wanted to do was cry and scream and sleep. 

He covered his mouth to try and hold back his choking sobs. If his Mum heard Eddie crying, Lord knows what he would tell her. So he simply shoved his face directly into his pillow and cried until it felt like his eyes had run out of tears. It felt like it was long overdue, to cry and cry until his throat felt raw and his chest ached and his face was sticky from tears. And it felt like hours before his body was so tired and heavy that he eventually tossed and turned as he drifted into a tense and uncomfortable sleep. 

His rest only lasted a couple hours when he heard a noise coming from outside his window. In his exhausted state, Eddie smiled brightly and followed the usual routine as he leant over to look through the already open glass pane, expecting Richie to be down there waiting to be let in. It was something they did pretty much every single night for the last year or so - Richie would be feeling needy and alone, and therefore would drive over to Eddie's house for a cuddle. He would throw small stones at the window, knowing his boyfriend would be sleeping peacefully in that tiny single bed. Eddie would let him in and they would snuggle and talk and Richie would say he would leave as soon as Eddie fell asleep. He never did. He would catch one glimpse at how soft and lovely Eddie’s face looked, and think to himself that he never wanted to be away from this precious boy. Of course, that meant Richie had to haul ass in the morning and get out before Sonia Kaspbrak found him. 

When Eddie looked out the window, still so hopeful. But when he realised it was just a branch that was continually knocking against the window, and the reality that Richie was in California hit him once again, Eddie sighed loudly and crawled back over to the head of his bed. He had never felt so alone in his entire life. 

And after being woken up another 3 times in the night by the exact same branch, Eddie rolled over and checked his phone to see it was just after 8 am, and he had several texts from his friends saying they would be there any minute. Eddie loved his friends to pieces, of course, he did. But he wasn’t sure what he couldn’t handle more: seeing them when he was in this state, or them seeing him when he was in this state.

Eddie could feel his chest beginning to tighten and his breaths becoming more shallow as the seconds passed by. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had used his inhaler, but he knew he needed it right now. The more he thought about having to discuss what happened with Richie to his friends, the more clouded his mind felt and the faster his breathing became. Eddie hastily got out of bed and searched around in his school bag for his inhaler, his intense thoughts building up more and more. He quickly took a couple pumps of the inhaler and his breaths became more regular as he sat back down on his bed. 

He breathed in and out several more times with another 2 puffs of Asmol in between when he heard someone calling from downstairs. 

“Eddie?” It was loud enough to be clear and for him to hear, but as he still felt quite dizzy, Eddie couldn’t tell which of his friends had called out to him. He rested on the edge of his bed for a few more seconds to let his lightheadedness drift away as he prepped himself to face them, then finally left his room for the first time in 2 days. 

“Hey, guys,” he said softly as he reached the bottom step. His friends were all gathered in the small living room of the Kaspbrak household, movies and snacks and overnight bags dropped by their feet.

“Eddie!” Beverly cheered with a smile. She ran up to the small boy and wrapped her arms around his shoulders. “How are you?”

“Could be better, I guess,” Eddie said with a chuckle and a fake smile as they pulled away from the embrace. He suddenly remembered the text message she had sent him last night, and he grabbed her by the shoulders and whispered in her ear. “By the way, I’m not mad at you for telling them. It was probably easier this way, anyway. I don’t think I could have done it myself.” 

Instead of saying anything, Beverly simply nodded her head and smiled brightly at Eddie, then grabbed his hand and dragged him down the last step to join their friends. 

“So, what first?” Eddie started hesitantly. “An awkward conversation about Richie, or movies and snacks?”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i really lost my mojo and i couldn't write anything decent for around 4 months, so i'm sorry this is a long time coming! also i have a new tumblr: clockgoesslow.tumblr.com

Eddie struggled to enjoy himself whilst his friends were over. He tried, he truly did. But every laugh and every smile and every joke was just a reminder that Richie wasn’t there with them. He wasn’t there to hold Eddie’s hand and kiss his temple when scary scenes came onto the screen, and he wasn’t there to make some stupid and inappropriate remark when the people in the movies would start kissing. It just wasn’t the same without him. And Eddie knew how hard his friends were trying to make this all seem like normal and like old times, but nothing could take away from the fact that the love of Eddie’s life wasn’t by his side. 

By the time it was 8 pm and they had left, Eddie felt deflated and exhausted to put it simply. He longed for his bed. However, his mother had other plans for her son as she slammed the front door shut and said, “Eddie, I’ve got shopping. Come and help me grab it from the car.” It wasn’t her usual overly cheery tone, and that frightened Eddie more than anything in the world. Who knows what could possibly be going on in that mind of hers. 

Eddie looked behind him and nodded at his mother, then stood up from the couch and attempted to straighten out his trackie pants and jumper as he made his way to the bright red car parked on the street. 

He pulled the last remaining bags of food out of the boot and began shutting the door when his mother’s voice startled him, making him jump and drop one of the bags. 

“C’mon, we don’t have all day!” She shouted from the front door. Eddie didn’t bother responding as he let out a small sigh and reached for the bag he had dropped. He quickly shut the boot door and waddled his way past his mother and into the kitchen where he dumped all of the bags onto the counter. He peered over at Sonia, watching as she let out a huff and rubbed her round cheeks with her chubby hands. She looked flustered and frustrated, and the only time Eddie had seen her like was whenever he got sick and she would have to take him to the doctor. 

And because of this, Eddie’s voice was laced with pure confusion as he said, “Mum, are you okay?” 

Sonia’s facial expression changed as soon as she laid eyes on her son. She plastered on a smile and nodded, then walked over to the shopping and began hastily taking everything out of the bags without a single word. Eddie figured maybe she’d had a bad day at work, so as he quietly crept out of the kitchen and into his bedroom, he didn’t bother giving the issue another thought. 

Crawling into bed once again, the only thoughts that entered Eddie’s mind were Richie. Where he was, what he was doing, who he was doing it with. Was he having fun? Was he safe? Did he miss Eddie? Was he thinking about Eddie as much as Eddie was thinking about him? 

As much as his eyes were burning and begging his body to fall asleep, Eddie tossed and turned for what felt like hours. His skin felt like it was burning and his hair was greasy and uncomfortable. He could feel all of the muscles within his body aching to get some rest, but every thought was screaming in his mind endlessly until he just couldn’t handle it anymore. He dragged his worn out body out of bed and into the bathroom where he locked the door, turned the shower on as hot as it could possibly go, then stood under the scalding water, trying to burn away the memories and the pain and the hurt. 

Eddie knew his mother wouldn’t be able to hear a thing above the sounds of the water, so he slowly slunk down to the floor of the shower, rested his forehead on his arms, and cried. No, cried is an understatement. He sobbed and wailed and poured out his heart with every tear that escaped his eyes. He tried covering his mouth to muffle the sounds, but he couldn’t keep his body upright any longer and let his limbs crumble completely until he was laying on the shower floor. 

He had never been in so much emotional and physical pain in all his life. It had only been 3 days, but it felt like Eddie had been in all of this pain for years, and he just wanted it to be over. It was as if Richie had just died, and Eddie needed to grieve the loss of his boyfriend. How could he grieve Richie, when Richie was the only person Eddie wanted to be held by? He needed Richie to push through this hurt, but that was impossible.

As the tears began to clear a while later, Eddie shut off the water and reluctantly pulled his body away from the steam of the shower. He didn’t bother looking in the mirror - he didn’t even want to think about taking a glance at how dreadful he looked - and instead walked directly into his room with a towel wrapped around his body. He searched around his cupboard for the particular item of clothing he had in mind, throwing around various pairs of shorts and shirts and jumpers before his eyes finally landed on the faded blue crew neck he had been looking for. Richie’s vintage Champion jumper was Eddie’s absolute favourite item of clothing. And even though Richie also loved it, he still left it in Eddie’s possession. 

Eddie pulled on a pair of boxers, then tugged the huge jumper on and smoothed out the wrinkles and brushed the small bits of fluff off. It still smelt like Richie from when they had last cuddled just a few days ago, and Eddie struggled to hold back the tears as he bought up the neck of the jumper to his nose and breathed in deeply. 

Eddie kept the jumper clung over the tip of his nose as he softly walked over to his bed, this time feeling a lot more relaxed and even more exhausted. The window next to the bed was still open from the previous day when Beverly had left, but Eddie honestly couldn’t be bothered closing it. The breeze made him shiver, but he pulled the covers further over his small frame and tucked his knees into the large jumper to keep himself warm. 

It didn’t take long at all for Eddie to drift into a light sleep, the warmth from the shower still clinging to his body, and the cool air from the window making his bedroom a perfect temperature. It most certainly wasn’t a very peaceful sleep, but it was still sleep nonetheless. And the few times Eddie awoke through the night, he simply rolled over and was pulled back into the unconscious state. 

This cycle continued, over and over, for the next 2 weeks. And in those 2 weeks, Eddie became more and more of a mess. He had deferred his university course, telling them he was grieving the loss of a loved one and couldn’t possibly begin studying at this point in time - something Sonia had no idea about. His sleeping schedule consisted of at least 20 hours every single day, meaning he’d hardly taken a bite to eat in 14 days. And when he had, it was chocolate, or chicken noodles, or biscuits, or some other kind of unhealthy snack, which had resulted in a major weight loss. His mother had been working so much to even be able to get a glimpse of Eddie long enough to tell a difference. And Eddie most certainly hadn’t bothered to look in the mirror, so he, too, had no idea just how thin he had become. 

He hadn’t seen any of his friends since the movie day, and he hadn’t heard from any of them after he text them asking for some space to clear his head. Well, he had heard from Beverly. She was the only one who refused to not text and check in. She let him know that their friends had one by one left for university and that they would miss him and hoped to see him soon. But it wasn’t enough to bring Eddie out of his room All of Eddie’s replies were short and clipped, but they were just enough of a reply for Bev to know that he really wasn’t okay. 

So as Eddie laid in bed on a Thursday morning trying to fall back asleep, his door swung open and hit the wall with a hard bang. The noise startled him and he rolled over quickly to see Beverly Marsh leaning against the door frame, a displeased look plastered on her face. 

“Get up,” she said firmly, nodding her head towards the tired, small boy. 

Eddie managed a strangled groan in response, tucking the covers further around his body and snuggling his face into his pillow. Right now he couldn’t think of anything worse than leaving the comfort of his bed, but it seemed Beverly had other plans in mind. 

She walked over to the bed and yanked the covers back to reveal Eddie’s body - his limbs were spread awkwardly all over the mattress, his tracksuit pants pulled up to his knees and Richie’s crew neck still secure around his body. It no longer smelt like Richie as Eddie hadn’t taken it off his body in the last 2 weeks, but he couldn’t bring himself to take it off, let alone wash it. So attached to his torso is where the jumper stayed, much like Eddie to his bed. 

“Get up. Now,” Beverly demanded. “I can’t stand seeing you like this any longer, Eddie.” 

Eddie rolled over to face her once again, an upset look of confusion painted across his usually cheery face. “What do you expect me to do, Bev? Just go on with life and pretend like Richie didn’t leave me?” 

“No! That’s not what I’m saying at all. What I’m saying is you need to stop being a dumbass and pick yourself up and go to California.”

Eddie’s eyes widened at Bev’s words and how forward they were. He always knew she was a bit of a hardass and said things how they were, but given the situation, he just expected she would give him the benefit of the doubt. 

“What the fuck, Bev?” He said, completely shocked. “I can’t go to California. Richie made it pretty obvious he didn’t want to see me again.” 

Beverly let out a loud groan and began pacing around the small bedroom. It smelt like sweat and was incredibly stuffy since Eddie hadn’t opened the window for 2 weeks, nor had he showered. 

“Eddie, you love him. You have to go to California, find that bastard and demand to know why he did what he did. You deserve an explanation for god sake!” 

Eddie sat up in his bed and wrapped his arms around his body. He thought about it for a moment and deep down, he knew Beverly was right. He did deserve to know why Richie left the way he did. But a part of him didn’t want to let Bev know she was right. And that same part of him was also terrified of seeing Richie, of what he might possibly say when he was face to face again with the boy that broke his heart. 

“No, I’m sorry, but I’m not ready. Just let me sleep, please,” he said softly. He reached for his blankets but Beverly was much too quick compared to Eddie. She grabbed the covers and ripped them off the bed, then tugged on Eddie’s arm and pulled him off the mattress. She took hold of his hand and dragged him to the bathroom and stood him in front of the mirror. 

“Listen to me, Eddie. I want you to look at yourself, okay? Really look.” She paused before continuing, trying to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to say. “You’re not eating. You’re sleeping way too much. You’ve cut your friends out of your life. What’s next? You’re just hurting yourself, Eddie, and I’m scared.” She placed her hands on his shoulder and stayed silent for a moment to let her words sink in. It was the first time in 2 weeks Eddie had actually looked at his appearance, and he realised she was absolutely right. His cheeks were so prominent because of the weight he had lost, and his skin looked so dull and lifeless. His shoulders felt bony and his stomach began grumbling. He could feel the guilt rising up higher and higher, but he couldn’t exactly pinpoint which part of what Beverly said that he was most guilty for. 

He turned around as quickly as he could and wrapped his arms around Beverly’s neck, trying to soothe the sobs that were attempting to escape his lips. He could feel her hands rubbing up and down his back, trying to comfort him. “I’m sorry. I don’t want to hurt you, but you need to pull yourself together and sort this out,” she whispered in his ear.

Eddie nodded his head in reply. He wasn’t in much of a mood to say anything, partly because he was hurting, but also because he knew the moment he let any words slip out of his mouth, he would begin crying. But everything Beverly had said was like a kick to the stomach for Eddie. And he knew she was right. Finding Richie and getting answers was the only way he could get closure about what had happened. And he deserved that.


	4. Chapter Four

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry this is taking so long but i'm getting there!! new tumblr is clockgoesslow.tumblr.com and here's the link to the fic playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/leahkins97/playlist/3TNoKPsx6ZyFtRObpUj63d?si=dPPb5onFTbyArpW2ouGD8A

Once Beverly had pushed Eddie into the shower and practically shoved his toothbrush into his mouth, the still very tired and very reluctant boy was forced into his bedroom to change into “clothes that are suitable for other human beings to actually see you in”, as Beverly put it. And even though he still felt so incredibly drained and exhausted, what Beverly said had struck a chord in him. He did deserve an answer. He deserved to know why he had spent the last 2 weeks of his life in pain and agony. He deserved to know why he was oversleeping and losing weight. He deserved to know why the love of his life walked away without any warning. And it was with this in mind that Eddie got dressed into fresh clothes - still tracksuit pants, but with his own clean jumper this time - and grabbed Bev’s hand as he walked out of his bedroom. 

“We aren’t… Going to California right this second. Are we?” Eddie asked reluctantly. 

Beverly chuckled. “Don’t you think if I was whisking you away to Cali, I would have bought a suitcase with me?” 

“Oh,” Eddie laughed. “Yeah, I guess I didn’t really think about that.” 

Beverly knocked on Eddie’s head, pretending to wake him up and the two laughed as Eddie locked his front door.

After realising they weren’t leaving for California this very day, it suddenly hit him that he actually didn’t know why Bev had come to see him. “So, what are we actually doing today?” he asked, squinting his eyes and raising his arm to block out the sun. It was a gorgeous Spring day and now that he was finally clean and outside, Eddie didn’t want it to go to waste. He wanted to soak up the sun as much as possible because he knew by the time it got dark again, he would be back in bed and back to feeling depressed. And heaven knows he needed vitamin D right now more than ever. 

“Well, my main reason was to force you out of bed for once. I didn’t actually think it would work,” she said with a chuckle. “But now that we are out here, I was actually thinking of going to The Quarry?” A hesitant look spread across her face as if she was attempting to suss out whether or not Eddie would be okay with this. She knew how much meaning The Quarry held in Eddie’s heart, and she certainly didn’t want to push any buttons that might make Eddie spiral even more. “If that’s okay with you, of course,” she added on. 

Eddie thought about it for a moment as he weighed out the pros and cons of going back there. Pros: he might actually get some closure being at The Quarry, seeing the space that they were all once in where they were happy and carefree; it would also be good for him to get outside and be in the fresh air surrounded by a familiar environment. On the other hand, Eddie also knew it could crush him. It could be a Richie’s Bedroom situation all over again. And he just wasn't sure if he could handle that for a second time. 

But he was brave. He could do this. It had been 2 weeks of nothing but moping, so Eddie was going to force himself out of the house and back to The Quarry. Because no matter how hard it might get, he knew Beverly would be there every step of the way to guide him and to hold his hand. 

He looked towards his friend and nodded. “Let’s do it,” he said with a big breath out. A look of surprise took over Bev’s features at Eddie’s response, but she quickly nodded back and the two began walking the short walk down the street. A few quick sentences of conversation were thrown around here and there within the 10 minutes, however, Beverly tried to keep the talking to a minimum, knowing that Eddie still wanted his space. 

As they approached The Quarry, the smell of the pine trees and the water hit Eddie’s nostrils and he took a deep breath in of the familiar scent. It was a crisp and cool smell, and though it wasn’t quite as good as the smell of Richie’s room, it still managed to make tears spring to Eddie’s eyes. He fought them back by staring up at the clear and cloudless sky, blinking several times and continuing to breathe deeply. The sky was mesmerising, full of different shades of blue all swirling together, and he didn’t want to look away in fear of laying eyes on the water in front of him and letting go of everything he had been holding in, but he knew he had to do it. He had to be strong and be brave. He just had to. 

Eddie lowered his gaze down and blindly searched for Beverly’s hand to grip onto as he took in the sight ahead of him. Of course, it hadn’t changed in the slightest - Eddie wasn’t sure why he was expecting it to look so different from 2 weeks ago. But it certainly felt different, that was for sure. The air felt grey and bleak as opposed to the spark it held after graduation, and he held his breath as he took it all in. 

Beverly squeezed Eddie’s hand. “Are you okay?” She said quietly, peering at his face and seeing the expressionless look upon it. She continued squeezing gently as Eddie’s eyes glazed over with tears. He blinked them back quickly, then shut his eyes for a second and squeezed Beverly’s hand back. 

“Yeah, yeah,” he started, shaking his head and looking back up at the sky, his eyes now wide open. “Yeah, it’s just going to take some getting used to, you know.” 

Eddie knew that Beverly did have some level of understanding. After all, Richie was still one of her best friends. Apart from Eddie, Richie was closest to Beverly out of anyone in the group, as they shared cigarettes after school and had their coffee catch ups at that weird cafe on the corner of Harols Street. And for a moment, Eddie felt a pang on guilt rush through his body. He averted his gaze from the sky and looked over to Beverly to see her smiling sadly at him. 

“Yeah, I know,” she said. She nodded her head gently and looked out over the water, memories filling her mind of all the times they had spent as a group in this very spot. It was then that Eddie realised there was not one, but two very much heartbroken souls standing side by side. He’d been so wrapped up in his own pain that he’d forgotten. Forgotten about his friends. Forgotten about the memories that they also shared with Richie. Forgotten that it wasn’t just him who was hurting. 

With this in mind, Eddie pulled Beverly forwards to the edge of the water and sat down, dragging her with him. 

“I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” he said tearfully, swallowing back a sob before continuing. “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for anyone.” 

Beverly wrapped her arm around Eddie’s body and rested her head on his shoulder, trying to comfort herself as her eyes began welling up. “It’s okay, Eddie,” she said softly. She buried her nose into Eddie’s jumper and let a few stray tears fall as she waited to say her next words, afraid of completely breaking down. “You were dealing with your own level of pain. We all were. I think you needed that time by yourself to overcome that, you know?” Tears were falling freely now onto the soft red fabric that she rested her cheek on, and her throat was scratchy as she whispered her words. 

“Yeah, I guess,” Eddie said, struggling to fight back his own tears. He’d only ever seen Beverly cry once in the time they had known each other: at her dad’s funeral. And hearing her usual chirpy and cheery voice so coarse and rough put a pain through Eddie’s chest.

They sat in that spot by the water for another few moments, soaking up the memories and the feeling of each others presence. Neither wanted to move. Their bodies simply didn’t want to get up from the ground and have to carry on with life, but Eddie knew if he sat there any longer he would break. He gently nudged Beverly with his elbow and said, “hey, let’s go wander, yeah?”

Beverly nodded softly, wiping the tears away from her cheeks. Eddie pulled himself off the ground first, then grabbed Bev’s hand and hoisted her up, keeping her hand firmly in his as he began walking along the water. Beverly followed along slowly and their arms were draped between them as they soundlessly began their travels to nowhere in particular. 

Eddie looked around, remembering the times when they had jumped off that rock on the side of the cliff into the water, or when they played hide and seek amongst the trees and him and Richie would sneak off to kiss. As much as it hurt him to do so, Eddie smiled. It was small, but regardless, still a smile, however still sent that same pain through his chest. An indescribable feeling that he’d certainly been experiencing much too often in the last two weeks. 

The pained smile was cut all too short as Beverly pulled on Eddie’s hand, trying to get his attention. He looked over to her to see her cheeks still a little wet and red from tears, however, that wasn’t what Eddie was focused on. His attention was drawn to the slight urgency in her eye’s, and he looked over to where she was pointing in front of them. 

“What the hell is that?” She said. Eddie followed her hand to where she was gesturing and caught sight of the old sewer pipe they use to play in as kids. Beverly let go of Eddie’s hand and scrambled toward the pipe, and it was then that Eddie realised it wasn’t the pipe itself that she was gesturing to, but a piece of paper that was stuck to the inside of it. 

As Eddie caught up to her, he got a better look at it. The white paper itself was around the size of his hand and the edges of it were ripped, as if it had been torn out of a book. He attempted to read the messy handwriting by squinting his eyes, then let out a sigh as he realised he’d left his glasses at home.

As he was about to ask Beverly to read it out for him, she let out a quiet gasp and said, “Eddie, this is Richie’s handwriting.”


	5. Chapter Five

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> finally really getting way back into this!  
> new tumblr is clockgoesslow.tumblr.com   
> here's the link to the fic playlist: https://open.spotify.com/user/leahkins97/playlist/3TNoKPsx6ZyFtRObpUj63d?si=dPPb5onFTbyArpW2ouGD8A

“Well, what the fuck does it say?” Eddie said with urgency. He gestured his hands to let Beverly know that he wanted her to go on, and she stumbled over her words as she looked back and forth between Eddie and the paper before nodding. 

“It says “call 555 2987 on the 18th of May,”” She read out, her tone full of confusion. She turned her head to stare at Eddie as the two of them tried to silently figure out what exactly was going on. Their eyes were going back and forth between the paper and their surroundings as they attempted to piece things together. 

Suddenly a thought popped into Eddie’s head. “Wait, didn’t we graduate on the 19th?” He asked.

Beverly’s eyebrows furrowed. “Yeah, we did. So what's this number? And why did he have to call it?” 

Eddie rubbed his face furiously. “Maybe we can call it?” He suggested, sounding frustrated. “You know, find out who it belongs to?”

“I mean, I guess,” Beverly said with a shrug. “But what if it doesn’t lead anywhere?” 

“What if it does.” A small spark of hope was ignited inside of Eddie, and he just had this feeling that something was going to come of this. He knew it. It had to. “Let’s go back to mine. Mum’s at a conference and won’t be back until tomorrow.”

He didn’t give Beverly a chance to say a single word before he reached over and grabbed the paper off the inside of the pipe, stuffing it into his pocket, then took hold of her hand and pulled her out of the clearing. He walked down the dirt path past the last few trees and finally released Beverly’s hand when the path finished and the road began. He sped up a little past Bev, the feeling of determination mixed with anxiety overcoming him. He wanted to get home as soon as possible and figure out who’s voice would be at the other end of this phone number. 

“Eddie, slow down!” Bev said, starting to jog to try and catch up with Eddie’s quick pace. His hands were in his pockets and he gripped the paper tightly as he walked. Once Bev had reached his side she put her hand on his shoulder and pulled him back. 

“It’s not a race,” she said with a light laugh before frowning at her friend. “Just try and keep calm, yeah?” 

Eddie took a deep breath and ran his hands over face. “I’m trying, Bev. But the thought of Richie picking up the phone, it just-” 

“I get it,” she cut him off, nodding her head in understanding. “But we have to try and keep our heads level and not get out hopes up, you know?” She put her hand on his back and rubbed it a little before pushing him forwards, prompting Eddie to begin walking, this time at a much slower pace. 

The rest of the walk back to Eddie’s was in silence, and it gave Eddie a short amount of time to overthink - something he had already been doing far too much of lately. He rubbed his hands together in anxiety as he thought about making the call - dialling the numbers and having to wait through the ringing to see whose voice was on the other end. He wondered if it would actually be Richie, or if someone else would answer. He pondered on what he would say if Richie was the one who picked up; if he would yell and scream, or if he would break down and cry. 

Through all the over-thinking, Eddie hadn’t realised that they’d made it to his house. Bev put a hand on his shoulder and guided him to the front door, opening it up and leading him over to the dining table. 

“I’ll grab some water, yeah?” Beverly said. Eddie nodded and watched her disappear into the kitchen, then grabbed his glasses off the table to put them on. His hands were shaking as he pulled the paper out of his pocket and read over Richie’s handwriting for the first time himself, staring at each number. Judging by the area code, it was definitely not a number from anywhere in Maine, and for a moment he tossed up the idea of it being a number from California. 

He pulled his phone out of his back pocket and laid it on the table next to the paper, staring intently at the 2 items in front of him when Beverly came and sat down next to him, placing the two glasses down on the table. She began searching Eddie’s face for an indication of what emotion he was feeling. The two had been so back and forth that day between sad, angry, hurting, anxious, and she wasn't too sure where Eddie was at now. 

She saw his shaking hands and moved the water closer to him. “Have a sip, and then we can call.” 

Eddie nodded and picked up the glass, doing as he was told. The cool water going down his throat helped to soothe a little of his anxiety, though his hands were still shaking as he placed it back down in front of him. He unlocked his phone and moved the paper over to Beverly. “Let’s do this.” 

She nodded her head and read out the phone number for him slowly as he put it into the device. He hit the call button and set it to speaker, and the two of them stared at Eddie’s phone screen and waited impatiently for someone to pick up. Eddie could hear his heartbeat, so loud and so fast, he felt like it was coming out of his chest as the ringing continued for several beats.

Suddenly a voice came out of the phone, startling the both of them as it said, “Colbert’s Cafe, this is Jim.” 

Eddie and Bev both looked at each other, confusion covering the entirety of their faces. “Maybe he works there, or something?” Bev whispered, raising her eyebrows. 

Eddie shrugged, thinking it over. It was definitely possible, but where even was this Colbert’s Cafe? It was definitely not a place either of them had heard of before. His thoughts were interrupted as the voice flowed through the phone speaker again. “Hello? Is anyone there?” Jim spoke. 

“Oh, uh, yeah,” Eddie said, shaking his head and letting out an awkward chuckle. “Is Richie there? Richie Tozier.” He looked over the Bev and gave her a small shrug, then whispered, “worth a shot.” 

“Who can I say is calling?” Jim asked. 

“It’s Eddie Kaspbrak, his boyfriend.” Eddie’s voice was a little shaky, but he was now convinced Riche was there. He had to be. 

This was it. This was his chance. His first words to Richie in two whole weeks. What would he say? Would he yell? Would he try and keep calm? Would he find out where he is and why he left? 

His placed his shaking hands flat on the table as Jim was quiet for a second, then said, “can you hold on for just a minute?” 

Eddie nodded hastily before realising Jim couldn’t actually see him, then said, “yes, of course.” 

He heard the phone get set down, then looked up to meet Bev’s eyes. “Do you think he’s really there?” she asked softly, her voice completely filled with hope. 

“Of course he is,” Eddie whispered. “You heard that guy. When someone says “who can I say is calling”, that’s a sure sign that the person is there. Richie has to be there. I know he is.” 

Beverly nodded and smiled brightly at him. “This is it, Eddie. It’s really happening.” 

Eddie took a deep breath in and held it for a few moments, trying to calm down his nervous heart rate. He clasped his fingers together, gripping tightly in an attempt to stop them shaking so much. It didn’t exactly work as well as he was hoping it to, but the feeling of keeping his hands tense and together provided some kind of comfort to him. He took a few more deep breaths, and then Jim’s voice came through the phone once again. 

“Sorry, no Richie here.”


End file.
